100 Ways To Annoy Someone

  1. Say their name a million times.
  2. Buy their favorite food then eat it.
  3. Hog the bathroom and don’t let them in until they’re late for school.
  4. Buy something they really wanted and say you bought it for them.  Then, say “Just kidding, I bought this for myself”.
  5. Mess with the calender and make them think its a school day when its actually the weekend (be sure to change their clock too!)
  6. Force them to listen to Caramelldansen for 10 hours nonstop.
  7. Keep singing the most stupid songs you can think up to them.
  8. Tell them there’s a flying cat who wants to abduct them so that it can eat them.
  9. Imitate everything they say and do.
  10. Dress exactly like them.
  11. Show them this list.
  12. Make them watch the same episode of Pokemon until they have memorized every single line.
  13. Make them dress up as a donut and dance.
  14. Tell them nonsense stories until they fall asleep.
  15. Keep on knocking on their bedroom door.
  16. Say hello 15,000 times to them.
  17. Say hello, bellow, jell-o, fellow, pillow, willow, frolicking dolphin until they feel like slamming a door in your face.
  18. Buy the video game they’ve been dying to play and beat it while telling them a bunch of spoilers.  Either that, or you could spoil a movie or TV show for them.
  19. Name your dog “Dog”
  20. Reply to everything someone says with “That’s what you think”
  21. At random times in a conversation, say “Hi,” “Hello Sir, how are you?” or “Have a good day, thank you.”
  22. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.
  23. Move people’s bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren’t looking (Or eight, because of the symmetry of the number eight!)
  24. Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you’re doing. Reply, “I’ve been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds… You’re weird!” Flee the area.
  25. Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you’re staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away. Repeat.
  26. Wear your cap backwards and say “Yo, wazzup?” a lot.
  27.  Secretly learn to play the piano, then go to a friend’s house who has a piano. Claim you’ve never played before then play Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring perfectly the first time. Then say, “I guess I must kinda be a natural.”
  28. Try to fit the word “cornucopia” into every sentence you say.
  29. Play the electric guitar very loudly and badly, then when the neighbours ask you to turn it down, play even louder. When they come round to complain again, say, “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you asked me to turn it up!”
  30. Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it (I already do this out of habit)
  31. Recite the first 4,000 decimal places of Pi. Then ask if people want to hear it in binary, too.
  32. Keep changing the TV channel every two seconds.
  33. Sample every flavor of ice cream at a store and tell the clerk what you don’t like about each one.
  34.  Never make eye contact.
  35. Never break eye contact
  36. Construct your own pretend “tricorder,” and “scan” people with it, pronouncing the results.
  37. When Christmas carolling, sing “Jingle bells, Batman smells” until physically restrained.
  38.  Wear a cape that says “Magnificent One.”
  39. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
  40. Demand that everyone address you as “Sir” or “Ma’am.”
  41. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
  42. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
  43. Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting of “Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip…”
  44. Set alarms for random times.
  45. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
  46. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
  47. Sing the theme to the Batman television show as loudly as you can, over and over and over.
  48. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
  49. Tell random people that their accent isn’t fooling anyone.
  50. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
  51. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  52. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  53. Finish all your sentences with the words “In accordance with prophecy.”
  54. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
  55.  Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  56. Construct elaborate “crop circles” in your front lawn.
  57.  Select the same song on the computer, phone, or whatever device you are using at least 50 times.
  58. Ask your co-workers (Or classmates) mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook.  Mutter something about “Psychological profiles.”
  59. Sing along at the opera.
  60. Mow your lawn with scissors.
  61. At a golf tournament, chant “Swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!”‘
  62. Ask the waitress or waiter at a restaraunt  for an extra seat for your “Imaginary friend.”
  63.  Change your name to “John Aaaaasmith” for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it’s a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each “A.”
  64. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
  65. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?”, “What?”, “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
  66. Write “X – BURIED TREASURE” in random spots on all of someone’s road maps.
  67. Repeat everything someone says in a British accent (Or rather, a really bad attempt at one.  If you are British and have a British accent…  Try an Australian accent)
  68. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
  69. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people’s backpacks.
  70. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “Like it that way.”
  71.  Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.
  72. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “Astronaut training.”
  73. Always carry around a big stick and say that its a lightsaber and that its part of your Jedi training.
  74. Carry around a long stick and claim that your a descendant of Gandalf the Gray.
  75. Talk like a gangster.
  76. Always talk in slang.
  77. How to annoy Colonel Mustang (Roy) from FullMetal Alchemist?  Simple!  Call him a Charizard (As in the Pokemon).
  78. You can also spray him with a hose all the time.
  79. How to annoy Ash Ketchum?  You can replace his Pokedex with a Game Boy Advance (GBA).
  80. You can also replace all his Pokeballs with bouncy balls.
  81. Put salt and pepper in random peoples tea at a cafe.
  82. Rearrange peoples bedrooms.  Better yet, rearrange the whole house if you can.
  83. Take away people glasses.
  84. Take away peoples water bottles and hide them (While in a desert).
  85. Go to a restaurant and sample everyone’s food and tell them you’re checking for poison.
  86. Tell people they aren’t fabulous because they are crazy beings that are excuses for forms of life.
  87. When people ask you if they look okay say “Well…” and inspect them for half an hour.
  88. Tell random people that their pet rock died the other day, and that you are the famous detective- Mr. Sherock Herms.  Say that you are willing to help them find the murderer.  Then, proceed to inspect the ground.  After an hour, say “AHA!”  Then look at the person with an evil smile.  “I have deduced…  That the murderer…  HAS KILLED YOUR PET ROCK!”  If you can, have someone in the background say “DUN DUN DUNNNN” really loudly, for dramatic purposes.
  89. Say you are going away for a year for astronaut training when you are actually going to a donut convention.
  90. Time to annoy Edward Elric!  You can cook him breakfast!  But everything has to have milk in it.  Also, give him a gallon of milk to drink.
  91. And call him short.
  92. Alphonse Elric?  Sebastian Michaelis? *Evil Laughter* Say you don’t like cats.
  93. Whenever you go to a restaurant pay in Canadian currency (Or any currency other than the currency of where you are).
  94. Enter a race and crawl very slowly.
  95. Always wear the same color every single day and refuse to wear any other color, because it is disrespectful to your ways of life.
  96. Refuse to eat anything but pie.
  97. Time to annoy Sebastian Michaelis again~!  Take all his silverware and replace it with plastic spoons.  Hehehehe…
  98. Show people this list again.
  99.  Keep gasping nonstop in public and see what happens.                                 100. If you’re sitting next to someone on a plane who is particularly nervous, keep asking if they think the plane is making a funny sound. When it takes off, pretend to pray or hyperventilate.                                                                          Most of these ideas aren’t mine…  Just saying.

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